Most SaaS Content You’re Writing is Dead On Arrival
Let’s face it. Today’s content marketers are great at keeping their jobs by playing things safe and are less good at earning, “Holy sh*t! Make this guy the CMO of our company NOW!” type of praise.
1,500-word blog post? Neatly optimized. Looks super smart. Thoroughly irrelevant.
Gated ebook? Fantastic looking. Filled with fluff no one actually reads.
Case study? Full of numbers. Reads like a press release. Most people have been more moved by an obituary.
Why?
Because it wasn’t written for the buyer’s brain. It was written to look good in the marketing department’s content queue. We’re here today to plot your takeover and become the CMO of your company. Unless you are the CMO, in which case…
It starts with a massive upswing in getting buyers to convert. Get out of the kitchen. Uncle Gordon Ramsay is here. And we’re bringing the heat, baby. Szzzz! That’s your promotion sizzling on the Griddle of Success™.
The Buyer’s Journey is Not a Funnel. It’s a Series of Emotional States.
Oh, you thought this was another funnel article, full of smart-sounding word salads about how fluffed we can make that funnel?
Like we say on our website: We’re here to unf*ck your funnel.
Let’s stop pretending people go:
Problem → Research → Compare → Buy
Reality:
- Stage 1: “Help. I’m frustrated, but I don’t have words for it yet.”
- Stage 2: “I’m actively Googling, and my tabs are overwhelming me.”
- Stage 3: “I’m pitching this internally and low-key (or high-key if we’re being honest) terrified.”
- Stage 4: “I just want to look smart and not get fired.”
Each stage requires different emotional fuel. Write content that speaks to that.
TOFU, MOFU, BOFU — How About We NOFU Your Funnel & Focus On What Matters
| Stage | What They’re Thinking | What You Should Create | What That Sounds Like |
| TOFU | “I know I’m stuck, but not sure why.” | Empathetic, pain-first/education-second content. | “Your RevOps stack isn’t broken. It’s just never had a fighting chance.” |
| MOFU | “Okay, I’m learning, but I’m skeptical.” | Storytelling, POV-driven guides, and comparison pieces. | “Faster than Amazon Prime and ChatGPT had a baby, your solution is here.” “How X Company Didn’t Want to Throw Us Off a Cliff — And We Saved Their Bottom Line” |
| BOFU | “I’m building consensus. Help me not mess this up.” | Ready-made internal pitch decks, decision-maker talking point cheat sheets, case studies, ROI calculators, and QR codes that link to your personal cell number—because they’re about to walk into a meeting with finance and might need pepper spray backup. | “Send this to your CFO. We made the math easy. We’ve got your back in that room.” |
What Converts at Each Stage (For Real, Not in a Fake Thought Leadership Way)
Most SaaS blogs will tell you what to write at each stage of the funnel.
This is not that blog, and I am not that writer.
We’re going to tell you what actually gets clicks, gets forwarded, gets bookmarked, gets Slack-shared, and gets sh*t approved.
TOFU (Top-of-Funnel)
What Actually Works
- Pain-first, relatable blog posts that name the problem better than the buyer can
- POV pieces that trigger the “Wait, are they reading my mind?” response
- Narratives that say “We see you,” not “We ranked for you”
- Ungated content that feels illegal to be reading for free
Titles That Scratch That Dopamine Itch:
- “You Don’t Need More Leads. You Need to Stop Losing the Ones You Already Have.”
- “The Hidden Cost of Clicking ‘New Spreadsheet’ Again (And Why Your Ops Team Hates Your Guts)”
- “Why Your Team is Privately Slacking About How Much They Hate Your CRM—And What To Do Before Replacing It”
Key Point: If your TOFU content doesn’t validate a fear, name a frustration, or make them feel seen, it’s just an expensive diary entry.
MOFU (Middle-of-Funnel)
What Actually Works
- Case studies with stakes, conflict, human emotion, and outcomes, not just a bunch of vanity numbers plucked out of the clouds with no context
- Comparison guides that name names and tell the truth—yes, even those that admit where you’re not the best
- Interactive content: quizzes, diagnostic tools, “choose your pain” experiences
Formats That Flirt to Convert
- “How We Helped [Customer] Save $300K Without Any Layoffs”
- “Notion vs. ClickUp vs. Whatever You’re Using Now: A Practical Guide”
- Live walkthroughs of customer problems (video > words)
MOFU is where you stop sounding like a blog and start sounding like a partner.
BOFU (Bottom-of-Funnel)
What Actually Works
- Pitch deck–ready content they can steal, slap their name on, and present as their own
- Calculators that tell the story they wish they could articulate themselves
- Personalized “send this to your CFO” content (complete with pepper spray backup from you)
- Internal-use enablement content (think explainer pages for finance/legal type of stuff)
- Integration deep-dives: show how it fits into their ecosystem, not just yours
Copy That Makes You a Star
- “Send This to Finance: Your Business Case for [Product] in One Page”
- “We Had One of Our Customers’ Legal Team Write Up a FAQ Page for Your Legal Team (Yes, Really)”
- “The ROI of Not Getting Yelled At This Quarter: A SaaS Story”
BOFU content isn’t content. It should feel like sending in SEAL Team Six to finish the job.
Sugar, We’re Going Down Swinging with 5 Conversion Triggers Hiding in Plain Sight
You don’t need more words for better content marketing. You need better weapons. The type of weapons stuffed in wooden crates by Irish arms dealers that the biker gang on Sons of Anarchy cracks open and says, “Wheeeeeeewwwww, would you look at these.”
Here are the triggers most brands miss—but the best-performing content teams bake into everything:
| Trigger | What It Sounds Like In Content |
| Relatability | “You’ve probably duct-taped 4 tools together to survive this week.” |
| Specificity | “After switching, they saved $312,921. And no, that’s not a typo.” |
| Tension | “If this doesn’t get fixed, it’s going to bottleneck your entire Q3 roadmap.” |
| Trust | “Here’s the deck our buyer used to get this signed off internally.” |
| Momentum | “Most customers are live in 6 days. Here’s how.” |
Each one of these can be dropped into blog posts, landing pages, nurture emails, ads, demos. Anywhere words live, conversion triggers should too.
Stop Writing Like a Narcissist and Start Writing Like a Buying Coach
Your buyer doesn’t need content. They need courage.
- Courage to pitch you internally
- Courage to believe in a new solution
- Courage to say “yes” and not regret it
Your content’s job?
Not to educate. Not to sell. But to guide.
Final Thought: You’re Not Creating Content. You’re Creating Confidence.
When you write content that actually converts, you’re not chasing clicks. You’re building belief.
You’re the mentor in the story, not the hero.
You’re the steady voice in a sea of confusing claims.
You’re the page they bookmark. The tab they keep open. The email they forward to their boss with, “This is it.”
Keep this up, and you’ll be the one getting pepper-sprayed promoted to C-level in no time.
